Keenan Benarroch Book Review

The Child Who Never Grew

 The Child Who Never Grew is an autobiography written by Pearl S. Buck in the 1950’s. The book details Buck’s experience dealing with a severely mentally challenged daughter (“mentally retarded” in Buck’s words). This short memoir explains the author’s interpersonal relationship with her daughter and the struggles she faced in raising her daughter Carol. Throughout the book Buck discusses the ways in which they were mistreated in the 1950s and strongly advocates for greater acceptance and inclusion for the mentally disabled. In my opinion, the book was very informative but also very sad. It showed how intolerant and ignorant society was towards the mentally disabled and the hardship Buck faced trying to raise her child.

 The book begins with Buck explaining her reasons for writing the memoir and her child’s disabilities. She explains that she wrote the book in order to reach out to all the other parents who have gone through similar experiences as hers. She then proceeds to write about her child’s disability, explaining that she suffers from severe “mental retardation” and will always have the mental capacity of only a four year old. Buck states that for a number of years she went through a phase of denial searching to find a “cure” for her child. Eventually, she was confronted with the reality that there was no “cure.” She then explains that she had to go through a phase of acceptance and acknowledge her child for who she was. It was however still difficult for Buck to know how to deal with her child in spite of the fact that she loves her daughter. As a result, Buck goes through a thought process ranging from raising her daughter herself to institutionalizing her to euthanizing her.

 After writing about her daughters disabilities and her own emotions Buck then writes about where they lived and the different options for raising her child in China versus United States. Buck was an American who moved to China where her child was born. She began to raise her child in China but eventually realized that it was too difficult to raise her child on her own. For example, Buck writes about trying to teach her child how to write and how this just caused her daughter to become nervous and upset. Due to these difficulties, Buck decides to move back to America and institutionalize her child. While in the institution Buck is constantly worried about the treatment her child is receiving and whether her child is being treated with respect. Buck is clearly heartbroken with having to leave her child with a group of strangers in the institution but realizes that this is best for her daughter.

 The memoir ends with Buck discussing the need for greater in society inclusion for people who are mentally disabled. She believes that instead of pretending like people with metal disabilities don’t exist, that society should find a better way to accept them. In her book she states that by not having them included in society hurts their development and they cannot grow or improve, as they should. She believes that there are jobs that mentally disabled people are capable of doing and that working will benefit them greatly. She is also a firm believer that education is the key and that the more people with mental disabilities are educated the easier it will be for them to be integrated into society.

 In many ways this is a sad book but is also a very meaningful story about a mother and her relationship with her child. The story is sad because Buck wants her child to experience the world as she herself would but realizes that this will never happen. Carol will never develop beyond that of a four year old and as she grows up she will never be a fully accepted member of society where she will be able to work and have a normal life. It is sad to see the struggles of both Buck and her child. The story however is very meaningful as Buck provides insights into the values and lessons she learned from her experience when raising her child. Buck discusses how she truly learned the value of equality for all and that all humans must be treated equally. Through reading the book I learned how challenging it is to raise a mentally disabled child and how important it is to fully accept them in society.

 The story is also interesting because it shows how poorly mentally disabled people were treated in the 1950’s. For example, Buck’s daughter was not accepted in society and as a result had to live in an institution. While in the institution she was essentially cut off from society and had no contact with people outside of the institution. This clearly was not good for her daughter and didn’t help her development. Buck writes that in some cases parents placed their children in the institution and completely ignored them. Buck is clearly showing how in the 1950s people were embarrassed of having a mentally disabled child. This embarrassment was a result of how society treated mentally disabled children. This is interesting because I think for many parents it is difficult to fully accept their children no matter whether they have a disability or not. Buck’s relationship with her daughter however shows that society in 1950s was wrong. Buck has a loving relationship with her daughter that grows over time as she accepts her daughter’s disabilities. She always visits and never ignores her.

 In many ways, Buck’s views about how to raise a mentally disabled child were ahead of her time. She wanted something very different for her daughter that was not available in the 1950’s. Buck not only wanted an alternative to putting her daughter in an institution, she believed that people with special needs could participate actively in society if given a chance. This however, was not possible in her time. In spite of this, Buck’s way of looking at her daughter is still very influenced by the 1950’s perspective. Throughout the book she refers to her daughter as a child, even as her daughter grows older. Also, you never get the sense that Buck thinks her daughter could participate more in society. Buck seems to be speaking about people with mental disabilities in general instead of her daughter. 

This book affected me because I really never thought about how mentally disabled people were treated in the past. It also just furthered my belief including people with mental disabilities into society and the education system is an absolute necessity. To me it seems obvious that if people with mental disabilities are accepted in society they will grow and be better off than when they are isolated and not educated. For teachers I believe that it is essential to treat all students with respect and to make sure that the goal is to try to include everyone in as many opportunities as possible.

 To conclude The Child Who Never Grew is a very insightful book dealing with the struggles of raising a child with special needs. The book shows that in the 1950s life for individual’s with special needs was much different than today and that they were not truly accepted in society. Though written in the 1950’s the book has very progressive ideas of how to raise children with mental disabilities. Although conditions have improved for many of people with mental disabilities, there is still more that can be done. As individuals we all have to find ways to be more inclusive towards people with disabilities. Work Citied Buck,P.S(1950),The Child Who Never Grew, New York, Intext Publisher